oh wow

I am sorry to see that you feel that way.

There are so many good words spoken on here.
I have noticed the lack of posting on these tribes lately.

Agreed.

Margot - Most of the conflicts that are so obvious on tribe are around belief systems (and then conflate into personality wars). For some people yoga is a fundamentalist religion with very rigid rules about men and women's places, etc. For others it's a religion but a very gnostic or new age one. For others it's an individual spiritual path and for others it's a secular activity. Yoga is many things to many people - many of us consider our "thing" to be the most important (it's human nature, we can be conscious of it or allow it to unconsciously guide our actions). Lots of gurus also throw poo at each other or swing their atomic balls around, there's quite a bit of competition in yoga (it is, after all, a business for many people and few gurus are devoid of ego). There's also the East=good/West=bad dualistic conflict inherent in many people's beliefs, which adds to the whole conflict stew (beef, not even vaguely vegetarian! ;-). So, yes, it is "normal" despite seeming to conflict with a lot of the common precepts of yoga and being a peaceful person.

I pop in now and then but don't even click on a lot of the threads anymore. A lot of tribe is pretty trollerific though since it's also a place where companies and individuals promote their businesses in both obvious and stealth ways. Much to my surprise, I found out that tribe was originally meant to be more about promoting burner's businesses than a social networking site - it made it all make much more sense to me because I thought it was meant to mainly be a social networking site! There's a lot of promotion and selling that goes on in the yoga tribes too (not surprisingly since there are a lot of MLM schemes that attach themselves to yoga).

margot humans are monkeys that drive cars, dont forget this and think that we're anything more than that ...

I looked back at the orginal question and that is all which I am addressing righ tnow.

I don't think that most devoted yoga practitioners are snippy, hostile or even hardcore.

I think most yoga practitioners are practicing yoga and caring lives.

I think the hostility you are referring to for the most part comes from onely one or two people.

It may be that with little discussion on tribe on a whole lately that people who used to get interesting discussions goign are now settleing for getting responses by being mean.. as in better to have some attention than none.

I am wavering with my tribe involvement. I have appreciated so much for so long, I am sorry to see it be so infrequented. I am developing other habits and means for expression.

I do invite my friends to keep in touch with me via PM as I am not going to tribes much anymore.. no one else seems to either.

"...I have noticed more petty ego struggles on yoga-related tribes than anywhere else on tribe"

Nah, check out the burningman tribes, they often get way worse.

Used to be on some birdwatching message boards about ten years ago that REALLY got abusive.

Some people with hardcore social hangups join group stuff, then the anonymity (sp?) of the web brings out the douchebaggery in 'em.

Dear Margot
I think I have a crush on you. Whip me with a wet noodle.
Love briggi
born year of the Monkey

What an excellent post and comment, Margot. In your post, you speak of pettiness. I think people get petty because they are not getting their needs met, or their feelings have been hurt or cannot be expressed in a way that serves them and the reciever. Being reactive is quite rajasic.

Much about how we are taught and re-inforced in society leads to these ego festivals you speak about here on tribe, but also elsewhere. Communication skills are the missing link I think.

I also can empathize what I hear to be a sadness in your feelings that caused you to post this. It seems to be about this kind of violent communication and your desire to reach out to others who wish to share/improve or make non-violent our general way of communication in Tribe. I SO agree with this here and also interpersonally and intergovernmentally.

I have had problems with communication for most of my life (as I am a bit Asperger's, VERY mildly expressed), and so recently I have come to grasp that my social awkwardness could be addressed by integrating Marshall Rosenberg's Non-Violent Communication principles. I STRONGLY recommend this to almost anyone I come in contact with now, as it spiritualizes speech, specifically the ahimsa portion of it VERY well. I have the audiobook version of these cds, and it's been one of the best things I have ever done. I have listened to them almost 4 complete run-throughs and also bought all the books he has recommended in there.

Thinking about this some, I came to the conclusion that since we focus in NVC on feelings and needs, that the "Men are from Mars", "Women are from Venus" myth is more specifically addressed by what is focused on.

Men, in communication, "tend" to focus on their needs and not their feelings, whereas women "tend" to focus on their feelings and not their needs. Therefore, some middle ground is needed there too, yet online none of this matters, everything is flattened, even if you have a picture up, clearly stating you are a woman or a man!

Spiritual living, or spiritualizing life can begin with some form of yoga, but as I found out, even living in an ashram there isn't some concurrent skills of non-violent communication, or even listening skills to go with it.

I posted on my articles page some thoughts on what I call The Seven Phases of Separation, and my theory is congruent with the main teachings of yoga and what I have recently grasped about how communication comes into the mix, which I think you are speaking about now.

Online, as someone said earlier, it's easier to hear something wrong (and thus project our triggers onto the person writing), and this is mostly because we don't listen to the needs and feelings behind what has been said. Yoga seems quite good at teaching many things about how to get somewhere in one's own practice, yet I have found it to be the case that many people (oddly, often men) tend to lack some listening skills.

This is also a pitta tendency. This is in general a rajasic tendency, and we have PLENTY of rajasic things to look at instead of sattvic things to look at in our current society. So many projections we have available to us, we cannot remember ourselves. Rajas is the projecting power of the mind, like the 'rose colored glasses'. Putting rajas into any of the four paths of yoga results in, respectively:

Karma Yoga (I think *I* am the doer)
Bhakti Yoga (My God is better than YOUR God, fanaticism)
Raja Yoga (Look at MY yoga prowess, and my mind/body control)
Jnana Yoga (*I* know more about this than YOU, or a general intellectual arrogance)

So, it's the same problem as in all areas of life, and in all societies. ANY problem in society can be traced back to these seven factors, and depending on how far down the line one goes, it's severity is increased. I have heard it said that the first key to spiritual living is to stop taking things personally. Online you see a LOT of 'taking it personally'.

Since it's only ego (i.e. left brain) that takes things personally, then this is a key operating factor. Since the right brain doesn't grasp that I am separate from ANYTHING, then one must school the left brain to think in terms given to it by the right brain. Again, the balance comes. Balance is my key word, and hope that all yogis can take up the pursuit of balance as their goal by seeking to understand it and subsequently allow a teacher to assist in that endeavor. Our Western culture doesn't help a lot in this regard, as it tends to polarize us.

I wrote a long post on my articles page about difficulties for Westerners in Eastern spiritual practice that goes a lot deeper into some of these factors too.

Thanks for the excellent comments everyone.
Om Shanti,
DurgaDas
www.silentmotion.org