Hey Daniel!

I HEAR YOU!! I had a hard time with the balancing, strength and gracefulness of this Asana for awhile. Still do in fact. One small thing helped a ton before anything physical came to pass.

Envision yourself doing it first. Eyes closed, take your time and visualize it happening.
Engaging my lats while using my entire shoulder girdle while relaxing my finger tips also helped. Spread the fingers as wide as you can and roll the weight on the hand first from the base, by the wrist then as you're elevating upwards rolling to the balls of the hands with a relaxed grip on the floor.

One thing I noticed I was doing was going "flat handed", similar to going flat footed. Kepping a nice arch in the hand was also very very helpful for me.

KUDOS to you for being brave and allowing yourself to go over. That can be so so scary. Especially if you go flat onto your back and knock the wind out of yourself : ) That's never fun eh?!

I used a wall for a long time and still need one depending on the day. I wasn't ready to go over yet as I wasn't getting as fully as I should have into wheel so I was a bit apprehensive to flop. Do you totally find that some days you're very balanced while others you're scattered? I find it's completely due to my mental state.

What really helped me was feeling my chest move forward and shoulderblades move down the back, as in cobra. the heart sort of locks in place, connecting with the floor, and you find a new balance. hope it helps